He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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One day...as I came home early from work...I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy...Hey buddy...why are you doing that for? He said..Because you came home early.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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