I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

-- Steven Wright

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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

-- Steven Wright

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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

-- Steven Wright

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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

-- Steven Wright

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

-- Steven Wright

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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost.

-- Steven Wright

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