I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

-- Steven Wright

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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost. –

-- Steven Wright

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

-- Steven Wright

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

-- Steven Wright

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I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-- Steven Wright

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