I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.

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One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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