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You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright
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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
-- Steven Wright
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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
-- Steven Wright
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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost.
-- Steven Wright
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I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.
-- Steven Wright
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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
-- Steven Wright
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