If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

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If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

-- Steven Wright

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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

-- Steven Wright

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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

-- Steven Wright

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I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.

-- Steven Wright

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I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-- Steven Wright

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

-- Steven Wright

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