I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

-- Steven Wright

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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

-- Steven Wright

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I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-- Steven Wright

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You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

-- Steven Wright

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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

-- Steven Wright

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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

-- Steven Wright

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