I’m addicted to placebos.

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I’m addicted to placebos.

-- Steven Wright

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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

-- Steven Wright

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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

-- Steven Wright

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I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-- Steven Wright

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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost. –

-- Steven Wright

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If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

-- Steven Wright

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