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I’m addicted to placebos.
-- Steven Wright
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What’s another word for Thesaurus?
-- Steven Wright
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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
-- Steven Wright
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
-- Steven Wright
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I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
-- Steven Wright
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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
-- Steven Wright
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