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My cousins gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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