I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ~

Quotern

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. ~

-- Jarod Kintz

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I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

-- Jarod Kintz

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Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in my head.

-- Jarod Kintz

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When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

-- Jarod Kintz

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The beautiful part about killing someone with an icicle is the murder weapon melts and then evaporates. And your assassination can be fruit flavored!?

-- Jarod Kintz

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