One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas.

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One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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One year they asked me to be poster boy for birth control.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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