It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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One year they asked me to be poster boy for birth control.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My cousins gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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