It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

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One day...as I came home early from work...I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy...Hey buddy...why are you doing that for? He said..Because you came home early.

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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

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