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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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One year they asked me to be poster boy for birth control.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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She looked at my calendar and wanted to know who JUNE was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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