It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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