It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

Quotern

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy

Recommended for You ...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a tshirt with a bulls eye on the back.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail