Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

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Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

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One day...as I came home early from work...I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy...Hey buddy...why are you doing that for? He said..Because you came home early.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

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