Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

Quotern

Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy

Recommended for You ...

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a tshirt with a bulls eye on the back.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Copy Detail