Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

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Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.

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Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

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For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a tshirt with a bulls eye on the back.

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