I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.

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I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.

-- Steven Wright

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

-- Steven Wright

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

-- Steven Wright

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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

-- Steven Wright

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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

-- Steven Wright

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Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

-- Steven Wright

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