I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.

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I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.

-- Steven Wright

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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

-- Steven Wright

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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost. –

-- Steven Wright

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I’m addicted to placebos.

-- Steven Wright

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

-- Steven Wright

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You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

-- Steven Wright

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